To Know

Please say more, don't cut me out
Don't close your heart, don't ice away

I want to talk, I really do
But it hurts when I say much
But get little

You stay silent, quiet, not even a whisper
I can no longer muster an initiation

Those special chimes, that flash of blue
It can only be a message from you
Swiftly glancing

A little hello, official stuff
I answer concealing my distasteful gruff

But it still shows through
But I know you won't catch it
You're oblivious

Three exchanges and you're off
I want to talk more, I want to chat

But I can't make myself do it
Cause what if a wall is returned?
Hurting even more

It's painful that things stay like this
I tear up, my vision turns to mist

I guess it means I really love you
That's why it stabs like that
Do you know?

But you don't know
And I don't know how to say

Cause I'm afraid you'll give the same shrug
You'll say all is good and right
That hurts more

I'm shrinking back into darkness, coldness
Because of your shoving

Running back to a bleak cave
Hiding, protecting myself
Trying to

But I know it won't work
I care too much

You'll always be in my heart
Even if all grows dark
I won't forget

You'll end up on that list too
Just like the others

Cause I love real deep
And hurt just as much
May things change